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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28294611">Sparkplug</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggys_cupcake_girl/pseuds/foggys_cupcake_girl'>foggys_cupcake_girl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Justice League (2017), The Batman (Movie 2021)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adorable Barry Allen, Cinnamon Roll Barry Allen, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Fluff, Implied Murder, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Violence, Love at First Sight, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Nothing graphic but it's there, Polyamory, Protective Edward Nygma, Protective Oswald Cobblepot, Seduction, Threesome - M/M/M, and Ozzie and Ed are Super Into That, barry doesn't know it but he owns Gotham's biggest supervillains, but only because he doesn't arrest his boyfriends, could be read as dark!Barry, hero/villain relationship, murder boyfriends, shh don't tell him</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:34:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28294611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggys_cupcake_girl/pseuds/foggys_cupcake_girl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward and Oswald are not good men. They are violent, they are forceful, they are powerful. They are not gentle. They certainly are not kind.</p><p>Well...most of the time, anyway. There are exceptions. One exception, specifically. There is one person they both love. And he alone knows just how good they are when they want to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Allen/Edward Nygma, Barry Allen/Oswald Cobblepot, Oswald Cobblepot/Barry Allen/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sparkplug</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oswald smiles beatifically as he watches the body fall in front of him. Behind him, Edward giggles as he blows the smoke off the end of the gun concealed in his cane. “Remind me again why we killed that one, Ozzie?” he says with a satisfied smirk.</p><p>“Does it matter?” Oswald leans down and plucks a wallet from the dead man’s body. He doesn’t need to loot pocket change from his corpses, he’s got almost as much money as Bruce Wayne squirrelled away, but, well…waste not. He rolls his eyes when he sees nothing but a Capital One card and a clipped-out horoscope in the worn leather pouch. “Well. Guess this explains why he was robbing stores.”</p><p>“Did he steal from you?”</p><p>“Oh, he almost stole something very important from both of us. Remember the convenience store robbery last week where a certain young hero got shot in the arm? He did make a full recovery, of course, but what if he hadn’t?”</p><p>“Oh. <em> Oh.” </em> A look of understanding crosses over Edward’s face behind his Riddler mask. “I see. Yeah. We couldn’t really let that one slide, could we?”</p><p>“Absolutely not. Hungry? I think I saw a taco place a few blocks back.” Oswald is already moving to the door. Leave the body; the police will think it’s the Joker. While leaving calling cards is a hallmark of Edward’s, Oswald is very careful to cover his tracks and when they kill together, his boyfriend kindly respects that.</p><p>“We should bring some tacos back for our little friend, too,” Edward says with a grin. <em> Little friend </em> is what they call their third when in public. No one knows exactly where the Flash goes when he’s not Justice League-ing, and all three of them want to keep it that way.</p><p>“Was he out late last night, or was that just my imagination?”</p><p>“Oh yeah. I think he had to go help Wonder Woman save some orphans from a gator or something.”</p><p>“We live in New York, Ed. There are no gators here.”</p><p>“Crocodiles, then. Same thing.” Edward shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’ll be very happy to have some food when he wakes up.”</p><p>The sun is just coming up as they hit the Mexican restaurant (New York, and specifically Gotham, being what it is, of course the place is already open). Edward chuckles as he watches Oswald down five tacos and a side of cheese nachos, with two frozen lemonades as a chaser. “I love watching you eat, Ozzie.” He reaches over and pats Oswald’s swollen tummy with an expression of pure affection. “Just as much as I love watching you work.”</p><p>“Right back at you baby. C’mere.” Oswald pushes his chair back so he can pull Edward into his lap. “Mmm. Popping out of the shadows with your cane drawn just as I told him I’d let him go if he promised to leave the city…that was a nice touch.”</p><p>“Why thank you,” Edward preens. “And you, birdie…you were <em> magnificent. </em> I especially loved you mesmerizing him with your umbrella to lull him into a false sense of security. Of course, with that lovely accent of yours, I was nearly hypnotized myself…” He leans in and nuzzles his lover’s neck. “You’re one of the handsomest men in Gotham and I’ll happily murder anyone who says otherwise.”</p><p>“One of?” Oswald says, mock-offended. (He’s not really. Most people only mean it jokingly when they say something like that, but he knows Edward really <em> will </em> murder anyone who insults him.)</p><p>“Well, Bruce Wayne is awfully cute,” Edward teases, and then rolls his eyes. “You <em> know </em> who I’m talking about, Ozzie. Don’t play dumb.”</p><p>Oswald smiles and presses a kiss to Edward’s cheek. “I do. Shall we get some food and bring it back to the other Most Handsome Man in Gotham, then?” he says, reaching under the back of Edwards’s shirt and pinching his side.</p><p>Edward jumps and lets out a little squeak. “Tickling’s not fair,” he protests.</p><p>“I’m not a fair man, Ed, you know this.” Oswald stands up and sets Edward on his feet. “Now let’s go. I want to see if we can be back by the time he wakes up.”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A flash of lightning, a whoosh of air, and Edward is whipped out of the path of a robber’s bullet. “Whoa,” he gasps, clutching at his savior—a young man, can’t be older than twenty-two or twenty-three, with big dark eyes and long, curly dark hair.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Are you all right?” the young man asks, his dark eyes widening in anxiety. “Did he get you?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No, he—hold on a sec.” The boy has started to pull away, but Edward holds tight. He ducked into this convenience store to avoid the police, but he’s starting to think it wasn’t such a bad idea. Not if attractive dark-haired boys are going to be grabbing him and looking at him with such concern. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I have to go, he’s getting away,” the young man protests, jerking himself out of Edward’s grip. “You never saw me,” he adds, and disappears. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He’s young. He’s jumpy. But, Edward thinks with a small smile, he can be found and trained. He’s not too old to corrupt. Not yet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ozzie,” he says when he gets home, “you always said you wanted a threesome. I think I mighta found us someone perfect. Just a gut feeling. But I think if we get him alone he might just be perfect.” </em>
</p><p><em> It takes a few days to track the kid down, but Oswald is very, </em> very <em> good at what he does. Barry Allen. Twenty-three years old, lives in Central City because his old man is locked up in Iron Heights. He’s vulnerable, more so than even he knows, and it takes very little to lure him back to Cobblepot Manor one night when he’s visiting New York…  </em></p><p><em> Barry is gentle, so gentle with both of them, like he’s afraid of hurting them. It’s easy to soothe his worries, easy to lull him into a sense of security and companionship with both of them, and he confesses his speed powers and admits he doesn’t know what to do with them. That he’s afraid he will lose control and run into someone or </em> through <em> someone and he is always nervous, so nervous, he needs to be held, please, God, someone hold him. </em></p><p>
  <em> He is lonely, and scared. He swears blind his father is innocent. He’ll lose control by mistake and jolt away when touched only to wind up halfway on the other side of the room. He rambles endlessly about nothing, about science and math and the law, criminal justice things, and he wants so badly to help his father, but he doesn’t know anything about the world outside his own bubble and it shows. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And within hours, Oswald and Edward are fathoms deep in love with him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He eventually calms enough to let them both make love to him, and when it’s all over he curls up against Oswald and holds onto him tight like a teddy bear. Edward curls up on the other side and whispers in Oswald’s ear, “What do we think, is he a keeper?” </em>
</p><p><em> “You did good, baby,” Oswald whispers back, and on his other side Barry Allen is already deep asleep, and Edward looks at his birdie and his speedster and giggles as he snuggles up to Oswald and drifts off. Because this, this is </em> right, <em> and he knows it. He’s never been more sure of anything. </em></p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Edward and Oswald nearly clean out the store of tacos, nachos, enchiladas, and burritos. “Think it’ll be enough?” Oswald asks as they leave the restaurant with their bounty. He’s not joking. The morning after a mission with the Justice League, Barry is always so very worn out and always, <em> always </em> hungry. If Oswald weren’t so afraid of the JL punishing Barry for his involvement with them, he’d go have a word with them about overworking his precious little sparkplug.</p><p>Edward shrugs. “If not, that’s what the kitchen staff is for. C’mon, I wanna get him something too.”</p><p>A few miles from the manor there’s a bakery, one that Barry is especially fond of, and Edward all but skips inside when he sees the speedster’s favorite chocolate donuts in the window. Oswald follows him with an indulgent grin, not even bothering to hide his smile as Edward casually orders the smiling elderly lady behind the counter to wrap up two dozen of the donuts, one dozen of the rainbow drop cookies, two loaves of raisin challah and two loaves of whole wheat challah, as many everything bagels as they have in the store and oh, hey, are those mini pecan pies new? Sure, ten of those, why not.</p><p>Oswald can’t hold back a childish giggle as the delighted bakery staff assemble the huge order, and the smiling lady behind the counter glows with delight when Edward tosses her a handful of $100s and casually tells her to keep the change. “We know someone special who <em> loves </em> your food,” he tells her conspiratorially. “So we’ll make you a deal, ma’am…you don’t tell anyone you saw the Penguin and the Riddler at your counter, and we’ll not only keep coming back, we’ll make sure every single one of <em> his,” </em> this with a jerk of his head at Oswald, “rich ass friends use you for all their parties.”</p><p>“Oh, of course,” the lady trills, her eyes wide at the bills on the counter, which could probably pay for her rent this month.</p><p>(Oswald would feel bad about taking advantage of Gotham’s working class, but he figures at least he’s generous with people when he has the chance, which is more than he can say for Bruce Ivory Tower Wayne.)</p><p>The bakery staff has just put the seven boxes of baked goods on the counter when the door bursts open and Cyborg, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman hit their superhero pose in the entryway. “We got a tip,” Cyborg says. “And by that I mean we saw the mess you left in Gotham Harbor.”</p><p>That, of course, is where they killed the idiot who hurt their Barry. Oswald and Edward briefly look at each other, shrug, and prepare for battle. “Ladies,” Oswald says to the bakery staff, “I suggest you all take cover. Unless of course,” he adds to the JL,“you’d like to take this outside? We happen to really like this establishment, see, and these lovely girls back here”—he indicates the bakery staff, none of whom are under the age of 50—“haven’t done anything wrong, so I’d really hate to mess up their nice shop.”</p><p>“Nice try,” Cyborg snaps, and fires a blast straight at Oswald, who easily fields it with his favorite fireproof umbrella. Well. Let the games begin, then.</p><p>The fight is short and sweet. Wonder Woman is the easiest to deal with; a “misfired” blast from Edward’s cane sets a corner of the bakery on fire, and she dives to fix it, to make sure the civilians are unharmed. While she’s dealing with that, Oswald distracts the other two with his swirling umbrella, just long enough for Edward to kick over a heavy metal shelf that pins the merman to the ground. A blast of electricity from his cane briefly takes out Cyborg’s circuits, just long enough for them to grab the boxes (and Oswald is careful to throw down a few more $100 bills to cover the damage to the bakery) and get the hell out of there.</p><p>“Nice work, baby,” Oswald grins to Edward as they’re riding home in his rubber duck getaway car. “Distracting the Warrior Princess instead of trying to fight her, that was good thinking.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Edward coos as he snuggles up to Oswald. “Anything to make sure my birdie gets away and my sparkplug gets his treats.”</p><p>“Think he’ll be mad when he found out we fought his do-gooder pals?”</p><p>Oswald has a point. Even after months of their influence Barry is, unfortunately, still Barry and it would take a hell of a lot of conditioning to make him forget that he doesn’t actually like it when people get hurt. And Oswald and Edward made a pact right from the start that they would never use mind control or drugs on their speedster. They want him to <em> want </em> them, not just feel compelled to stay with them. Anyway, he hates it when they fight with the JL and is always telling them to stay out of their way if they can’t fully avoid the hero team.</p><p>“Nah. They confronted us. And really, the worst we did was <em> maybe </em> give the Little Mermaid a concussion. No lasting harm done. He’ll forgive us. Especially when we’ve got all this for him,” Edward says practically, nodding to the pile of food and treats in the back of the car.</p><p>It’s true that they spoil their little speedster. But after everything he’s been through…well. They’ve dealt with enough trauma themselves to know the effect it can have, and they want him to know that he’s loved.</p><p>They know the difference it can make, after all.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Barry calls them from Central City and tells them that some guy claiming to be the Batman has showed up and needs his speed powers. He’s anxious and upset and demands to know if they told anyone. They assure him they didn’t, and tell him not to go. But he insists, saying that if the world is truly in danger he’s got a moral obligation to help. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Stupid lovable Barry and his stupid ethics and values, they complain to each other as they put together a survival kit for him. (Edward is especially proud of his newest invention: bulletproof underwear. Hey, people aren’t above a crotch shot if they get desperate enough.) They leave the goods for him just outside the city limits, not wanting to get close enough to the Batman to tip him off that Barry knows them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Superman comes back to life and it is on the news, and suddenly they are terrified for their little sparkplug because he is so, so good. He is unspeakably good, and Superman is terrifying, and they know that if he hurts Barry even his metabolism and healing won’t be able to save him. He comes back to them in tears, telling them that he is afraid, he’s hungry, he feels so lost. He doesn’t know how to handle this kind of fighting, but he has to be back, quickly, because they think he’s getting food from the butler and if Batman notices he’s gone— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They beg him to stay. For the first time Oswald’s hand twitches towards the spiral umbrella. Edward threatens to kill the whole cache of heroes if Barry doesn’t come back. But Barry goes anyway. </em>
</p><p><em> He does come back. Bleeding, wounded, emotionally scarred. But he comes back. He falls into their waiting arms, lets them fuss over him. “I’m not fragile,” he insists. “I’m </em> fine. <em> I’m just tired.” </em></p><p>
  <em> Oswald and Edward feed up their sweetheart and make him rest a full day before he runs again. When he’s recovered they decide he’ll have to move into Cobblepot Manor with them. “But I have to get back to Central City,” Barry protests. “My dad—” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We’ll just have to get him here, then, won’t we,” Oswald interrupts, and he sees Edward’s eyes light up. He knows what this means. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The prison break is not neat or friendly. A trail of bodies is left in their wake. They make it look like a protest, a riot, and then when they get to Henry Allen’s cell, a rescue. “Some terrorists have attacked the prison,” Oswald tells him. “We’re here to get out as many innocents as we can. We’re vigilantes, see. Police don’t like us. But we have it on good authority that you’re a victim of society, not a danger to it.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Whose authority?” Allen demands, eyeing them suspiciously. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Someone called The Flash.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Allen’s eyes go wide. He knows about his son, then, and he knows he can trust them on that alone. “All right. Lead the way.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The look on Barry’s face when Oswald and Edward lead him into the drawing room that night to find Henry Allen sitting on the divan is absolutely priceless. He is theirs for life now, and they know it. He might still help the JL fight the monster of the week, but his loyalty will always be to the men who sprung his innocent father from a life sentence in a horrible prison. </em>
</p><p><em> He’s good, and pure, and incorruptible. But he is </em> theirs. <em> And as long as he belongs to them, he will want for nothing. </em></p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>The Flash is sleeping when his pet villains get back, tucked up in a nest of blankets just like they left him. “Good morning sweetheart,” Oswald croons as he snuggles up to the blanket-wrapped twig that is Barry. “We have something for you. Are you hungry?”</p><p>Barry’s eyes flutter open. “’M always hungry,” he murmurs, nuzzling into Oswald’s neck with his nose before he slowly uncurls himself from the blankets and sits up. Edward slips into bed beside him, tenderly stroking a hand up and down his bare back. “G’morning. What time is it?”</p><p>“Almost ten. We’ve been busy. Had to take care of some business.” Edward pulls a take-out container from the Mexican joint from the pile on the nightstand and presents it to Barry. “We brought you some breakfast.”</p><p>“Ooh. Thank you,” Barry says happily as he flicks open the container and tears into the tacos like he hasn’t seen food in months.</p><p>“Did those mean old heroes wear you out last night, sweetheart? We’ll have to have a word with them, won’t we,” Oswald says sympathetically as he watches Barry wolf down one container of tacos and start on another. “Oh, slow down love, you’ll make yourself sick.”</p><p>It’s not at all true. Barry can eat the contents of an industrial walk-in fridge in the time it takes to sharpen a pencil and suffer no ill effects. Oswald is just being a mother hen (or mother penguin, as it were) because that’s how he is with the people he loves. And by that, we here mean <em> Edward and Barry. </em> If Diana of Themyscira were choking to death in front of him, he’d step right over her body. But if anything threatens Barry or Edward, well. Everyone knows what happens when the Penguin’s people are threatened.</p><p>“’M fine,” Barry mumbles through a mouthful of enchilada. He swallows and says, “So what business did you have to take care of?”</p><p>“Nothing that concerns you, little sparkplug,” Edward assures him, and before Barry can press for details, Edward heads him off by presenting him with a box from the bakery. “Wanna start with raisin challah or everything bagels?” he offers with a grin, and the way Barry’s eyes light up is <em> everything. </em> </p><p>When their little sparkplug is finished eating Oswald and Edward have the mess of take-out containers and wrappers cleared away and get back in bed with him. “I have a class this afternoon,” Barry tries to protest as they snuggle up to him, one on either side, each of them sliding a hand up from his belly to his chest and tweaking his pretty pink nipples. <em> “Ooh, </em> that’s not fair.”</p><p>“We know. You may not have noticed, little sparkplug,” Edward giggles as he leans in, “but we’re supervillains. We specialize in playing…<em>dirty.” </em> He smothers Barry with a kiss, effectively silencing any protests, as Oswald slides a sneaky hand into Barry’s sleep pants and lets his fingers do the talking.</p><p>It’s funny, really funny—like, the Joker would shit himself laughing if he saw this kind of funny—that two supervillains managed to find and successfully court such a tender-hearted hero. But there’s one thing that’s for sure: Barry Allen is the best protected man in Gotham. Even the Batman himself, in his Bat-castle with all his Bat-alarms and Bat-weapons at the ready, couldn’t take as good care of Barry as Edward and Oswald. That’s for sure.</p><p>Maybe later they will take Barry to the Iceberg. When he’s dressed up like one of them, no one knows him as The Flash, or as the messy ball of anxiety who attends Gotham Community College and works in the campus bookstore. The criminal underworld knows not to touch him. Even the Joker doesn’t dare to lay a hand on him. It’s funny that people who will happily beat the shit out of the Flash, know better than to touch the pretty boy who Oswald occasionally dresses in sexy, expensive suits and shows off on special nights at his club.</p><p>And now, with Henry living with them, really Barry never has any reason to leave the manor. He does, of course; he goes to school, he goes to fight monsters. But he always comes back to them, and that, really, is all that matters to the Riddler and the Penguin. Their fiery little hero can fight them all he likes, as long as he comes home and lets them have their way with him at the end of the day.</p>
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